


it never seemed so right before

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Friends to Lovers, robron christmas calendar 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 15:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13169799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: written for robron christmas calendar: a friends to lovers au.or,And Aaron, he knows all about that. He nods his head and tips his pint in agreement, and Robert nods back. They have an understanding, really, about just about everything. It’s nice. It’s easy.Or it would be, at least, if seventeen-year-old Aaron hadn’t gone and fallen head over fucking heels in love with Robert Sugden.The constant thudding of his heart, the way butterflies unfurl at the sight of his best friend – it’s normal, now. The new normal, the one he accepted seven years ago. It’s almost a comfort. Almost, because there’s some things Robert doesn’t need to know.





	it never seemed so right before

**Author's Note:**

> written for robron christmas calendar 2017.
> 
> a friends to lovers au, based heavily on [something stupid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f43nR8Wu_1Y).
> 
> happy reading! xo

Robert sits in a chair across the table from him. It’s the same sight as when they were sixteen, eighteen. They’re twenty-four now, and he looks exactly the same: blond hair spiked up at the front, eyes burning green, mouth tugged up into a pretty pink smirk. 

He looks the same, but the situation is totally different. 

“You have time for me, then,” Aaron says, but takes the sting out of his words with a smile. He doesn’t mean it – never does, but there’s some truth in it. He rarely sees Robert anymore. 

“’Course,” Robert replies with a frown, like it’s obvious, like he hasn’t cancelled their plans six times in the last two weeks. “I’m sorry I’ve been so flaky, it’s just- it’s work, innit?” 

And Aaron, he knows all about that. He nods his head and tips his pint in agreement, and Robert nods back. They have an understanding, really, about just about everything. It’s nice. It’s easy. 

Or it would be, at least, if seventeen-year-old Aaron hadn’t gone and fallen head over fucking heels in love with Robert Sugden. 

The constant thudding of his heart, the way butterflies unfurl at the sight of his best friend – it’s normal, now. The new normal, the one he accepted seven years ago. It’s almost a comfort. Almost, because there’s some things Robert doesn’t need to know. 

“How are things going?” He asks instead, pressing his cold hand against his cheek. He tries to make it look casual, to not look like he’s willing the blush away (because he most definitely is). 

Robert, thankfully, does not seem to notice. “Same old,” He draws out through a long-suffering sigh. The sparkle in his eyes isn’t there, not like normal. The absence makes something in Aaron’s chest hurt. “This job is great, right? I love it, and it’s decent money. Well, more than decent really.” 

“But?” Aaron asks, raises one eyebrow. Robert doesn’t reply straight away, so the younger man taps his fingers against the table – he’s not going to _pry_ , he’s just a little impatient. 

“But everyone _knows_ that I have money. It’s not exactly subtle,” Robert mutters. He looks petulant, almost. Maybe more disheartened, but Aaron knows him better than that. “And expect me to throw it their way if they use the L word.” 

“You’re complainin’ about all the girls lining up at your door?” Aaron asks, scrunching his nose. “Doesn’t sound like the Robert Sugden I know.” 

It really doesn’t. Even six months ago, before this posh real estate job materialised, Robert was sleeping with anyone who looked at him the right way. 

Not that Aaron’s jealous, or anything. 

“Yeah, well, maybe this is the new and improved Robert,” The older man sighs dramatically, leaning back in his chair. He eyes Aaron for a minute, a curious look on his face, and then leans forward again, elbows on the table. “Maybe I just want to settle down… Whether that’s with a woman or a man, well…” 

Aaron gawps. There’s no better word for it. “ _What_?” He asks, half choking on his pint. Robert Sugden, into _men_? It’s hard enough imagining him just associating with Aaron, resident scrapper, in his expensive cologne and tailored suits. But in the same _world_?

Christ. 

His mouth goes dry, suddenly, tongue chafing against the roof of his mouth, and he takes a sip of his beer to get his voice working again. Not a shock. Not at all. 

“You’re not a homophobe, are you?” Robert asks, smirk back in place and radiating a confident air. Directed at anyone else, it’d look cruel. Directed at Aaron, though - it just looks fond. “I’m bisexual.”

“I am gay,” Aaron reminds him with a frown. He swipes his thumb along the condensation on his pint glass, stares hard at the table. “Didn’t think you could forget that.” 

Robert’s quiet for a moment; just the soundtrack of rowdy men and the older man’s soft breathing playing in the background, until he covers Aaron’s hand with his own. “I was joking,” He says, voice gentle. “It’s- it’s hard. Talking about it, I mean.” 

“Don’t have to tell me that,” Aaron says. It’s settling in now, the knowledge – spreading through his veins and seeping contentment into his bones. He hides his soft smile with taking a sip of his pint. 

Robert laughs, almost lost in the noise of a group of drunken men that spill through the door, but it’s soft and light, delicate. “Thank you,” He says seriously, sparkle in his eyes replaced with honesty. “I knew I could tell you about it.” 

And that – that’s the Robert Aaron remembers. The one who listened and talked, spilled secrets between them with his back pressed up against the rough brick of the (their) barn. The one who wrapped his arms around Aaron when he came out, who whispered that it was going to be okay. 

The one who no one else knew. 

The one that Aaron fell in love with. 

He misses that, sometimes. Robert was the one he went to about everything – the first person Aaron came out to, the first person he told about Jackson. And he was there through it all. Maybe that’s why Aaron fell in love with him. 

He shakes himself out of his thoughts, turns his gaze back to Robert. “Got a boyfriend, then?” He finds himself asking before his brain can catch up. 

Robert laughs, full-bodied and shocked. “No,” He smirks, taking a sip of his pint, while Aaron tracks the way his tongue licks foam off of his top lip, and digs his blunt nails into his palm. “You know me, don’t want anything but the best.” 

And- yeah, that sounds about right. He’s conceited, Robert; too proud to pick out anything broken. That’s probably why he doesn’t want Aaron. 

The thought hurts more than it should. 

“God,” Robert groans, eyeing the door as more and more drunks spill in: a horde of women, wine flushed and dressed to the nines, in their glittery dresses and tinsel accessories; men in suits not much different to Robert’s, but they’re roaring expletives and slapping each other on the back. “Shall we call it a night?” 

A grimace sits on his face as he watches them, and for a second, Aaron wonders why he’s not out on his own office Christmas party. That’s probably not his place to ask, though. “One more,” Aaron says, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. 

He doesn’t want the night to end prematurely. He doesn’t want it to end at all. 

Robert rolls his eyes, but it’s just for show, judging by the way he knocks his knee against Aaron’s. “Go on then,” He sighs, teasing. 

Aaron makes his way up to the bar, pushes between two women and orders two whiskies. It’s a success, really, managing to get Robert to stay for another drink. It’s a success just getting him out in the first place. 

But still. They’re here (finally), and that’s what matters. He pays for the drinks with a smile and turns back towards the table, but his smile falters when he sees it. 

It. 

A woman sat in Aaron’s seat, in a tight fitting dress with a perfectly made up face. She looks perfect, Aaron thinks. She and Robert look perfect together. 

His heart tightens. 

Her manicured hand finds its way onto Robert’s arm, squeezing tight as she laughs at something he says. Robert, though – god, Aaron daren’t look. He doesn’t want to see it; doesn’t want it to be confirmed- but then he hears his name being called. 

“Aaron!” Robert shouts over the noise, gesturing him back to the table. He turns to the woman and smiles – more of a grimace, really – and her face falls, tugging down the bottom of her dress as she stands. Her cheeks are flushed bright red with embarrassment. It makes Aaron wonder what Robert told her. 

He makes his way over to Robert, though, and slides the glass across the table. “Bottoms up,” He mutters, taking a seat, and then downs his whisky in one gulp. He needs it. 

“Slow down,” Robert laughs, sipping his own drink. “Sorry about that. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.” But Robert’s eyes are sparkling, confidence and inflated ego. Aaron’s never felt further away from his best friend. 

Christmas music spills over the noise of the pub suddenly; George Michael crooning about lost loves filling in the gaps in conversation. Aaron groans – he doesn’t want to think about the fact Christmas is twelve hours away. “Can we get out of here?” He asks, almost begs. 

“You’re the one that wanted to stay for another drink,” Robert says, smirk on his face. It’s still fond, never cruel. Never with Aaron, despite what Chas and Paddy and Katie and Andy and almost everyone else in the village would say. 

“We can find somewhere else,” Aaron says dismissively. He shrugs his coat on and stares at Robert, expectant. “Come on then.” 

.

They walk for what feels like hours, but it’s probably only minutes. It’s cold, snowing like it does in the Christmas films, but Aaron’s never felt as warm as he does with Robert beside him. 

Robert slips once, long legs flying into the air as he lands ungracefully on his arse, but he laughs harder than he has all night, giggling. He takes Aaron’s hand to pull himself up but ends up yanking the younger man to the floor too. 

It’s light. Easy. _Magical_. 

“Every where’s full,” Robert mutters, rubbing his hands together. He’s seriously underdressed for the weather, but he’d sent Aaron a sharp look and told him that _it’s fashion, Aaron, god_. He looks golden, under the dark sky. His hair shines like a halo, lips cold red and cheeks flushed. 

Aaron loves him. He can feel it spilling out of his heart, filling his lungs like oxygen and coursing through his veins. 

“I love you,” He chokes out, bringing his hand up to his mouth when he realises what he’s said. He didn’t mean to fucking do that, _god_. He’s messed up. Big time. 

Robert stops, hands falling to hang by his sides. “What?” He asks, dumbly, voice and face carefully blank. Aaron couldn’t read him if he tried. 

It’s too late to turn back now. May as well own your mistakes. 

Aaron turns his head to the side, stares hard at the snow. “I love you,” He repeats, quieter but firmer. He means it, feels it right down to his toes. The feeling’s an old friend, seven years and counting, but now it rages to life: fire in his belly and licking up to his lungs. 

“Are you _serious_?” Robert hisses. He takes a step back and Aaron looks up. He doesn’t stare at the snowflakes caught on Robert’s eyelashes. “I thought you were better than that, Aaron.” 

It’s Aaron’s turn to be confused now. “What?” He breathes, barely above a whisper. 

“Using me?” Robert sneers, lip curling. His hands clench into fists, and he takes a threatening half step forward. “Trying to trick me.” 

Aaron’s mind flits back to earlier – _“But everyone_ knows _that I have money. It’s not exactly subtle,” Robert mutters. He looks petulant, almost. Maybe more disheartened, but Aaron knows him better than that. “And expect me to throw it their way if they use the L word.”_ – and he can’t help his mouth from falling open in shock.

__

“Honestly, Aaron,” Robert continues, an edge to his voice that he rarely hears. “You, of _all_ people… Never pegged you for that type of person.” 

__

“I’m not!” Aaron cries, the words falling from his mouth quickly, before Robert can carry on. He takes a deep breath, and looks at the older man. “I’m not using you, I _wouldn’t_. I lo- I’ve felt like this since we were kids, Rob.” 

__

That seems to stop Robert’s anger, the red of his cheeks fading a shade or two. He stays still though, and just watches Aaron, eyes soft. “Really?” He asks. His voice is small – tiny, even – and he sounds so vulnerable that it makes something in Aaron’s chest ache. He wants to hurt anyone who ever made those insecurities so true. 

__

“Yeah,” He admits, hanging his head. He can’t- he’s more than likely just ruined his oldest, his _best_ friendship. How fucking stupid. 

__

“God, finally,” Robert sighs, taking another step forward. They’re close – so close, an inch apart, and Aaron has to tilt his head to look at Robert. A grin sits on his face, beaming sunshine under the velvet night sky, and his fingertips come up to rub circles along Aaron’s jaw. “I thought I was the only one.” 

__

And then he sways forward, resting their foreheads together before their lips meet. It’s the kind of first kiss that Aaron expects from Christmas clichés – soft and warm, the wet sweep of Robert’s tongue and the taste of whisky. 

__

It’s a cliché for a reason. 

__

“I love you,” Robert whispers as he pulls back; thumb tracing the younger man’s lower lip. 

__

Good. Aaron doesn’t like being alone. 

__

They kiss again, for minutes and hours, sharing breath and warmth. The snow keeps falling around them, and cars still drive past. Nothing changes. The world keeps spinning and the stars still shine. But sometimes the planets align and two soulmates meet, and a future sparks and ignites between them. 

__

Aaron feels the truth of that, right down to his bones. 

__

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [aarobron](http://aarobron.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
